VoyAJe 2010: Our Yesterdays


I had lots of fun on Monday night! Even though the performance was nothing near perfect, mainly vocally, I had fun. Confession: I was taken over by the crowd and had an adrenaline rush that lasted for 3 whole songs, resulted to the fact that I was unable to breathe and regulate my breathing properly, and singing properly and most importantly - in a composed manner. My body just simply refused to listen to me.

And so, I pretty much messed up the first 4 songs: Ave Maria, Toki Gong, Credo and Alleluia. I am glad that I wasn't overly muddle-headed to forget all of the choreo for Toki Gong; only forgot 1 of the actions luckily. However, I wasn't too lucky with Ave Maria, Credo, Alleluia. Despite the fact they were pure singing, non choreo songs, I wasn't able to sing properly and, most importantly, communicate the song with feelings properly. Vocally, I could barely project and sing properly, produce the right kind of song I should. Oh well.

Boy, am I glad that heat seamlessly entered my freezing cold hands and I gained composure and did better in the latter songs after SA Chorale's guest performance. Breathing was regulated, I was no longer trembling - more importantly my stomach didn't, and I was glad that survived through the last 3 songs for the first half! Hurray!

The second half was much more relaxing as I slowly gained full control of my body. I felt much at ease in the second half than during the first half. Westside Story was plain cute and fun, Autumn Leaves was depressing (comical when Bryan turned and smiled at us when he forgot his choreo. =X). Begin the Beguin, Tea For Two and In The Mood were pretty much a breeze. I sang my heart out for No Importa (la Distancia) for the encore too. I enjoyed myself pretty much throughout the whole concert, I guess that's what's most important.

However, just like what Basil said, we are still a long way from being ready for the Vienna trip. We have gotta buck up and trainned even harder. It's about 24 days from our flight. Good gracious! Time is running out indeed. I will continue to do my best and stay positive, and learn as much as possible within this short time.

Work hard, or we are screwed for the Vienna trip.

Credits to Ruth Tang and ihopeineverknow.

... that I am going to ensure that I learn something new after every practice with regards to choral singing. I want to take away valuable experiences and knowledge that can be shared with many others. 'Others' here are targeted at the BBSS Choir which I love dearly. I can't stand the comments/criticism I see and hear about the choir, and realised that it is only my duty to share what I have learnt with them to bring them to a higher level - it's about time BBSS Choir get a Gold for SYF.

"Perhaps the reason is that your voice has seasoned, thus making it difficult to alter to one that is better now."

This was what my Tenor Sectional Leader, Kuek Jing told me. I felt down for a moment. Being seasoned here had turned out to be a burden and an insult. I feel indignant, very indignant. I am not glad that I have the all the techniques they can teach me and apply them to a certain level of excellence and yet not be able to attain the 'right' voice.

I've thrown everything I know and everything I've got and this is what I get - a dead end or rather, hopefully,  that I am merely just closing on to a dead end. Knowing everything, to a scientist, can be translated to receiving a death sentence as he would have nothing to follow up on, no knowledge to seek. I implemented the idea of support, the idea of lifting, the correct breathing techniques and Basil, Assitant Student Conductor, could hear that I know how to sing, I know my techniques, but yet there is still fault in my voice. I lacked the abstract "ring" (a.k.a. resonance) in my sound, I am airy regardless of how much support I put in.

I just totally feel indignant. As if knowing that almost everyone in J1 was Tenor sectional leader back in their secondary school wasn't hurtful enough. I want to work towards a better voice, but who is there to help me? I feel helpless. I am told that all I can do is to experiment. It translates into: finding the 'right' voice by trial-and-error - which I greatly detest ever since the first time my eyes set on it.

I haven't a choice I suppose. I am positive about it still and thus why I only compared it to that of nearing to a dead end. I'm hopefully of going beyond this dead end and reach a stage where I know that I will gain much more and feel proud of myself for. Not forgetting that I am doing this no longer in my own name, but carrying the honour of the BBSS Choir which I honour for my growth. I am always looking out for a chance to go back and share what I've learnt thus far with the choir.

CHOIR IN MY LIFE...
have never been a chore. It is choice that I made back when I was Secondary 1 that I would never regret - I would still take up choir as my secondary school CCA. The times spent, be it, at the Music Room and the old BBSS campus, the Multi-Purpose Room (MPR) used as Music Room at the Toh Tuck campus, or the current Music Centre at the new BBSS campus, were memorable.

Recalling how I first came in contact with choral singing, with choir can be rather hilarious. I was told by Melvin, 4 years my senior who was doing the auditions for the BBSS choir then, that I can sing. Boy, was I elated and glad to hear that - I can hold a tune to save my life! I still remembered that besides singing the scales for him, I also sang I'll Never Break Your Heart. The knowledge that I can sing came to me as form of enlightenment. Being the greatest fan of singing (Note: everyone who loves to sing says the same about themselves.) I decided that I would go for the challenge and sing in a choir.

4 years in BBSS choir allowed me to develop in a much better person and chorister - a chorister that by any chance, is actually that tiny little bit worthy to be in one of the top JC choir in Singapore. I joined choir out of passion to sing, out of hope to found out more about singing and choral singing. It was a challenge because it just isn't the typical CCA for guys in secondary school - not to mention in a secondary school where the level of music appreciation is rather low.

At the end of the 4 years in BBSS Choir I took up another decision: I decided that I shall further my interests in choral singing in JC, that I will become a better chorister and learn under a conductor that can really develop me into a better chorister. I wanted knowledge, I craved for the knowledge of good choral singing. I came to realise the joy from singing had dullen here in JC. But the strive for knowledge, was to my knowlegde, sufficient to keep me going. I wanted the exposure, the experience of how it is like to be in a really good choir. That's why even though many seniors warned me of the dangers that lurks behind this decision I went on ahead.

I explained to them that it was something that I would most probably not be able to experience when I go to university, although that was before the existence of the NUS Choir came to my knowledge. Even after knowing of the existence of the NUS Choir, the chances of my continuing this path is rather bleak, and thus the reason why I was so determined to get into AJChoir. I made my presence felt back during the DSA auditions, then came the appeal auditions and after I got into AJC by merit, I did the final audition that settled me in Tenor.

The attitude I have for choir right now is ...

That marks the end of my update today. Time to rest for tomorrow's preview/showcase.

To Be Continued...

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!

Not gonna rant about something so crude. Totally, stained my mood. Fed up.

Friday night was memorable. I really had an enjoyable night back in school at the AAC. It was my honour and pleasure to be at the school receiving the applause from the audience, cheers from my choir juniors. It is always pleasurable to be recognised for your hardwork and talent.

I never dreamt that there will be a day that I would be onstage to receive such an honour. It wasn't the amount or value of the Popular cash vouchers that mattered. It was the honour.

Other than the honour, the chance for the class to gather once more was much appreciated. I enjoyed the company of the class and it was pleasing to have many of us from 4e2'09 to be on stage to receive the award.

Recalling last AAC that I had attended after my participation, I sat at the back of the audience with the rest of my classmates as we bear with the boring speeches that we have to endure throughout the 2-3 hours. However, this time round, I realised that I was almost fully awake throughout the ceremony. I listened attentively to Mrs Kee, Ms Eileen Lai, Mr Latiff, Ms Seah, Ms Dianah and Jia Zhe's valediction speech. I realised that when something is spoken at your concern at the most, you'd listen to it attentively if you put in the effort. Perhaps I wasn't mature enough last year to appreciate it.

There were touching moments, moments such as when Ms Dianah, Mr Latiff gave their speech, as they spoke well of Zhi Ting and Jia Zhe. It felt sour and different. I could see that there were tears in Zhi Ting's eyes that she was trying very hard to keep back.

Suprisingly, the moment that I almost dozed off was during the performance by the dance groups. Well, the performance by the modern dance actually managed to attract my attention and kept me awake.

I enjoyed my night back in school and the chance to see the choir once more. However, I totally forgot to pick up my SGC from the General Office. Dang. I will have to make another trip down to school again some other day before 30th April to get it.

Gotta go.
Ja-

Have you ever felt the need to 'sincerely' throw vulgarities at your close friend like you mean it?
Vulgarities that probably come from the bottom of your heart?
I do.

How do I feel right now? I feel like I can swallow an elephant down my throat and not feel satisfied even so.


Who is he?
What is he?
Why is he-

Petty,
Self-centered,
Egoistic,
Rude,
Crude,
and Arrogant -
he is the worst.

He's that noise-making vacuum cleaner in your homes,
                       probably left alone.
A distraction that you would never want to look
only to scorn.

Self mutilation.
Not even close.
He doesn't stop;
his mouth never stops.

He's got an attitude
                             that can change the world.


In this godforsaken land,
I curse and swear
Forever - I'll never
believe it again, not ever

Even between the best of best
Friends are perhaps--no, after all, only just friends
Tools for entertainment, for your entertainment,
for that moment of company
For that perhaps, truly, have just been a moment of folly


"Let the fire that burns
remain an ember
Let the stars there were there before
return above you".

Time will never come to a standstill
It will never stop for you
Yet mem'ries will only be mem'ries
So don't let them begin the beguine!
Allow my hand to caress your cheeks once more
Stop those tears! Yet, down they fall

That knight in his dull, lone amour
His iron sword in his bare hands
that has long lost its colour
The winter before him,
Pale, whiter than white
He lifts his feet off the ground;
      right,
left,
      right,
left, he moves
He hears the trees whispering
and scorn.

Lies! I don't wanna hear
Lies! None of these matter anymore
Perhaps I am just being selfish
Perhaps I am just being overly sensitive
And yet all I ask,
All I yearn,
Is for you
To stay

Perhaps what is missing
is that 'longing',
that we do not possess

Why do I remember,
while you forget.

VOYAGE DES VOIX '10 WAS A BLAST!

I am sure the BBSS Alumni Choir had a fun-filled experience. It was a great experience getting together and singing together once again. It was a collaboration, personally, not to be forgotten. We had fun, we had seasons in the sun, and rain. Remember the times we spent running in the rain to get to Suchi's place and after practice? The rain and sun didn't deter us ultimately. The fact that we managed to gather the strength of 19 ex-BBSS choristers from year '05 to '09 to come together and perform for the concert was alone remarkable.

I had a great time performing yesterday evening. It felt great to be with the BBSS Choir once again. I was with people whom I am familiar with, faces that I dearly missed. It was just remarkable. I enjoyed the performance and the fun that followed after the concert. Even the part where Jingwen and the rest almost kicked me down the stage (Jermyn followed after). I feel light and at ease with the choir I was with for the past 4 years. I was the clown I had been and I enjoyed the light atmostphere free from tension. I didn't have to worry that I would be stepping on anyone's foot cause I know that they understood my intentions.

Pieces performed (in order):
Lion Sleeps Tonight
Ubi Caritas
Laudate Dominum
Seasons of Love

I am looking forward to VoyAJe 2010: Our Yesterdays. I am really hoping the BBSS Choir can come and give me their support. COME, COME!

and the journey goes on...

Cleristo

It's a new year, new blog, new age. And thus, the need to revise the definitions of Cleristo arise. Firstly, let's go through the linguistic part of the word Cleristo. Cleristo is an amalgamated word, formed from the two words: Cleon and Aristo (and I wouldn't have known the term 'amalgamated' had not it been for PW). The two words are Greek, instead of Latin which would have been a reasonable choice since most English words has its roots in Latin.

Why Greek? Firstly, traces of Greek can be found in Science. Examples such as the naming of planets which brings us to the next point. Secondly, when you think of Greek, it is likely for one to relate to famous Greek philosophers, such as Socrates, Plato, Ptolemy and Aristotle. Philosophy and Science has almost been a big part of my life, probably ever since I learnt how to think with care and depth.

Greek words have been widely borrowed into other languages, including English: mathematics, astronomy, democracy, philosophy, thespian, athletics, theater, rhetoric etc. Moreover, Greek words and word elements continue to be productive as a basis for coinages: anthropology, photography, isomer, biomechanics, cinema, physics etc. and form, with Latin words, the foundation of international scientific and technical vocabulary, e.g. all words ending with "-logy" ("discourse"). An estimated 12% of the English vocabulary has Greek origin, while numerous Greek words have English derivatives.

- Reference from en.wikipedia.org

Thirdly,  Greek can also be indirectly linked to the Greek mythology. Zeus and the Olympians. The very fact that one of my goals is to reduce all myth to nothingness or seek what is tangible in them adds flavour to the word.

Lastly, oh right, that was the last one. Oh well.

Cleristo: Cleon and Aristo. Cleon meaning brave and Aristo meaning leader. Thus, in actual fact, Cleristo can be interpreted as brave leader.

Brave: What constitutes to bravery? Courage? I have once came across this quote, "Courage is not the absence of fear; courage is knowing there's something more important than to fear." One of my personal view on bravery/courage in the context of Cleristo, is the bravery/courage to accept critics, acknowledge my own weaknesses and to not be afraid to admit. But most of all, to learn and change from criticism given and after acknowledging my own weaknesses.

Leader: My definition of a leader differs from AJ's Servant Leadership in certain aspects I suppose. Leader to me has always been very straightforward: a leader is one that is willing to stand up against all odds with bravery/courage to lead, infront and/or behind the scenes, his peers in times of need through appropriate means and must have the ability to ensure that the welfare of his peers are looked into.

I underlined infront and/or behind the scenes. Reason being that I believed that even though you may not be given a post of authority in whatever aspect you are in, be it in a CCA or in class, you are always willing to carry duties of a leader. And for some one with a leadership position, even when he has stepped down or is not on duty anymore, he would be always willing to carry his duties for his peers.

Cleristo is also the acceptance of everything good and bad about myself and thus that's why it is only fitted for me, alone. Cleristo is everything good and bad about myself and its definition is thus ever changing and growing as I grow and change. Cleristo are the goals and sources of motivation, foci of my life. Cleristo is where all my choices, shall come to converge - the foci of my life. Cleristo is about acceptance of all good and bad in people and to change peers for the better for as long as it is within my means. Cleristo is allowing learning experiences to mould myself into a better person. Cleristo is the strive for excellence and improvement in all aspects that I do. Cleristo is not forgetting who I am in the midst of pursuing my goals and targets. Cleristo is the acceptance of human nature to strive for perfection and yet accept the fact that it is not possible to attain perfection...

... and the list most probably continues...

Cleristo has come to a new age ever since the then much less matured me. I have grown I believe through the learning experiences I have been through and will always be in mind to carry out targets I have set for myself and bring out the best in others and in me. I will keep in mind to always stay on track and follow the path (of the Cleristo) that I have set for myself.



Atrum Exsequiae,
meaning Dark Hallows or Dark Relics, first came to me through Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. The Dark Hallows, like the Deathly Hallows, also consist of 3 'relics': Unus, Orbis, Calix - The One, The Circle, The Grail.


The Unus, or The One refers to the one Truth. It also refers to I. I is seen to be contained within the Circle. It refers to the fact that Man is bounded to laws of Physics, laws of nature, and restrictions. Man is bounded to cycles, karma, and everything that makes up the Universe. I also reminds me to never be self-centered in my views.

The Orbis, The Circle, represents the cycle in which I believe all this comes in a complete cycle. However, note that the circle is not a circle. It is in fact an ellipse. Why so? In the past, greeks believed that the Sun, the Moon and the planets revolved around the Earth; the Earth was the centre of the universe. Which turned out to be wrong? Also, the believed that they rotated around the Earth in perfect circles. However, in slightly later times the came to realise that it was never perfect; planets rotate in ellipse.

Historically, the apparent motions of the planets were first understood geometrically (and without regard to gravity) in terms of epicycles, which are the sums of numerous circular motions. Theories of this kind predicted paths of the planets moderately well, until Johannes Kepler was able to show that the motion of the planets were in fact (at least approximately) elliptical motions. In Isaac Newton's Principia (1687), Newton derived the relationships now known as Kepler's laws of planetary motion from a force-based theory of universal gravitation. Albert Einstein's later general theory of relativity was able to account for gravity as due to curvature of space-time, with orbits following geodesics.

- Reference to en.Wikipedia.org

The Calix, The Grail is the triangle that is formed from the ends of the angel wing, the devil wing and the human hand. It refers to the seeking of the one Truth - the Holy Grail of Physics. The Holy Grail of Physics is otherwise known as Theory of Everything (T.O.E) or Grand Unified Theory (G.U.T). This is ultimately my goal, my focus.

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