CONTINUED FROM LAST POST...
... that I am going to ensure that I learn something new after every practice with regards to choral singing. I want to take away valuable experiences and knowledge that can be shared with many others. 'Others' here are targeted at the BBSS Choir which I love dearly. I can't stand the comments/criticism I see and hear about the choir, and realised that it is only my duty to share what I have learnt with them to bring them to a higher level - it's about time BBSS Choir get a
Gold for SYF.
"Perhaps the reason is that your voice has seasoned, thus making it difficult to alter to one that is better now."
This was what my Tenor Sectional Leader, Kuek Jing told me. I felt down for a moment. Being seasoned here had turned out to be a burden and an insult. I feel indignant, very indignant. I am not glad that I have the all the techniques they can teach me and apply them to a certain level of excellence and yet not be able to attain the 'right' voice.
I've thrown everything I know and everything I've got and this is what I get - a dead end or rather, hopefully, that I am merely just closing on to a dead end. Knowing everything, to a scientist, can be translated to receiving a death sentence as he would have nothing to follow up on, no knowledge to seek. I implemented the idea of support, the idea of lifting, the correct breathing techniques and Basil, Assitant Student Conductor, could hear that I know how to sing, I know my techniques, but yet there is still fault in my voice. I lacked the abstract "ring" (a.k.a. resonance) in my sound, I am airy regardless of how much support I put in.
I just totally feel indignant. As if knowing that almost everyone in J1 was Tenor sectional leader back in their secondary school wasn't hurtful enough. I want to work towards a better voice, but who is there to help me? I feel helpless. I am told that all I can do is to experiment. It translates into: finding the 'right' voice by trial-and-error - which I greatly detest ever since the first time my eyes set on it.
I haven't a choice I suppose. I am positive about it still and thus why I only compared it to that of nearing to a dead end. I'm hopefully of going beyond this dead end and reach a stage where I know that I will gain much more and feel proud of myself for. Not forgetting that I am doing this no longer in my own name, but carrying the honour of the BBSS Choir which I honour for my growth. I am always looking out for a chance to go back and share what I've learnt thus far with the choir.
