CHEM SPA!!
O'boy was Chem SPA exhausting, both mentally and physically to some extent. I was sweating like mad during the assesment! Initially I even took my spectacles and wore it, but in no more than 10 minutes, I took it off as I was sweating like mad already. I had lots of trouble plotting the graph! The readings just doesn't seem to look nice and it caused me to lose quite some time and as a result I began to rush through the rest of the assesment. Good thing is, I looked through and didn't find any mistake so it should be not bad.
Went back to BBSS last evening and managed to hear out the choir. I suppose this is a vicious cycle. The seniors (at least for my batch) weren't good, and so our juniors aren't either, and we have yet to find a way to breakthrough the main obstacle. We are faced with a shortage of boys as usual, if only we have more we couldn't do much more things with a larger pool of 'talent'. It's hard to know what will the choir be in time to come, and even the near future (the next SYF) seems blur.
I'm sucha STUBBORN PIG!
I really do think I am a stubborn pig, talk about trying to perk yourself up and raise your self-esteem. I realised that sometimes I'm overly concerned with the choir, and that my attachment to the choir goes over the limit. I don't know if it's the right thing to do anymore. I feel that I'm being quite selfish in some sense. It's just like parents who want their children to take up certain art or do exceptionally well because they never tasted the same success, so they entrust their children to accomplish it for them. Similarly, because I wasn't able to achieve a Gold back in my days in BBSS, I am currently entrusting the current batch of Sec3s the role of finishing my unfinished business, which can be rather selfish.
I do hope that they can be successful and that they will really take my word for it, as like what I told them yesterday on areas that they should be looking out for and how to make sectionals more efficient. Revolutionising how BBSS Choir functions is probably the key to getting our first Gold and something has to be done if they want a Gold next year.
Currently, from what I see, the sec1s and 2s are quite a dissapointment, especially the sec1s don't even seem to be interested. Their physical body might be there but their mind and soul has long flew else where. It's a saddening sight la. I'll just do what ever I can provided that the sec 3s do come to me for advice, if not there's nothing I can do, right?
as time passses by, it seems that the distance between us has also lengthened. Even triple bonds can break I suppose, it ain't impenetrable.
ElMO-feeling
This ElMO-feeling is catching up on me lately. I feel down and upset easily, and I seem to have lost all my self-esteem. What has the world come to eh? The pigs are growing wings?? Clarence Liu is losing his self-esteem, that's really news.
and no matter how hard I try to ignore, I realised that I do dread facing all this by my own. Where are you when I needed you? I don't wanna blame anyone but I just don't like this feeling of being alone. I'm always there for you, give me a sign that you are too.
