LOOKING BACK
Couldn't help but laughed at myself in the previous post on how not too optimistic I am on what happened yesterday... Sad to say, I was wrong. I lost terribly, and now I'm just feeling freaking rotten and fucked up. So irritated and so mad at myself, at her, at fate -- why?! How can someone love someone so much yet the other party does not feel anything all these time?! How can things be so unfair that I'm suffering and she's just taking it like as if nothing has ever happened?! I believed I asked myself these questions before 2 years ago when I attempted to confessed and failed the first time. 2 years today, things didn't change much, I still lost and I've never even got any closer.
Issit really that unreasonable for of to demand that she give me just a chance, or just simply even just one day? I really feel like I've lost everything. I left the house with my mom to have
dinner lunch (just realised the mistake today, 4/12/11) only to stumble upon Huimin, and it was simply uber awkward. My heart totally sank when I saw her, I could totally feel like my heart skipped a beat. Don't be mistaken new readers, Huimin isn't the one I was referring to in the previous paragraph, she's just a close friend of the person I was talking about. Anyway, this is just so unfair, so unreasonable!!!
So tired... So lost... How silly was I all these while...
